I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
