Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
