no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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