My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize