why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
