i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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