UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
