I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
