Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
