I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize