Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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