i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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