I wish my penis had an off switch
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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