Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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