So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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