And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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