kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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