if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
