Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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