Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
