Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
