Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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