first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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