Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
