my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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