carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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