We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
