wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
