You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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