I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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