I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
