He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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