I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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