my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize