the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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