i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize