i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
