I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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