dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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