Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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