Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
