I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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