You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
