Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
