he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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