do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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