All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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