Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How does one acquire holy water?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
