Cold hands, warm shart.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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