i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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