your parents love me but you hate me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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