idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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