woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Randomize
