I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
