I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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