Non-Jews are for practice
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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