Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
