I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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