Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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