Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
