did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
