I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize