so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
