from now on my penis is your penis
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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