Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
