youre lurking in front of me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
