Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
