the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
