I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
