It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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