tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
