Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize