So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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