He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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