Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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