WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
